cureton william

I totally just realized how much i donapos;t want to grow up. Sure i hate going to school, and not being able to drink legally but seriously, the future is so scary.

josh was telling me about how he and bobby are probably going to be getting a house in lake bonivista. I donapos;t even know where that is i know that this is kinda selfish but i donapos;t want josh to move out of where he is living now. Like, i love going to his house. And itapos;s so close to mine and my school that i can pretty much go see him whenever i want to. But if he moves into the new place i wonapos;t be able to see him like ever because he doesnapos;t have a car and i donapos;t know how to drive. He was also saying that when i graduate i am welcome to come move in with them but that is scary like i canapos;t wait to live with him but that would mean i would be moving out in like 8 months i am so not ready to even think about this. Like it gives me a lump in my throat and makes me want to break down and cry. Iapos;m so comfortable when iapos;m at joshapos;s and itapos;s like my home away from home. And even though i might be living at this new place it wonapos;t actually be my home. Iapos;ll two homes and the place where i go to sleep at everynight and keep clothes. But iapos;m so scared that i wonapos;t be able to go stay at either of my homes. Like what if my mom wants to change my room into a different room and joshapos;s mom does the same? then i will have no safe haven to go to when iapos;m feeling lonely or scared. I canapos;t even believe how upset and worried i am about this.

i should probably just go to bed before i have a nervous breakdown.

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